Steve Zissou (theothethumper) wrote,
Steve Zissou

this is an automatic meme

Get one of your own! by Drunken Hero

Stalkers are twats. A cautionary tale from theothethumper.

bradthebumper is stalking theothethumper
bradthebumper’s REAL name : Denny Saul
bradthebumper’s REAL DOB : 23rd February 1972
Height :185 cm Weight : 105.1 kg
bradthebumper has dreamt about you : 30 times
bradthebumper became interested in you : 16th October 2003
bradthebumper’s latest dream about you
bradthebumper dreamt that both of you died in each others arms in a rather bizarre rollercoaster accident.
This is how bradthebumper describes your relationship behind your back
‘God its going fantastic. I’ve never felt happier……..ever. Nothing can go wrong now. Fuck tempting fate!’
bradthebumper’s been stealing stuff from your house too.
bradthebumper has a habit of searching theothethumper’s home for sex toys and ‘borrowing’ any that they find.
They’ve even started modifying their body for you
bradthebumper is considering having reconstructive surgery on their earlobes so that they are similar in appearance to your own.
They sent the following message to you in a Valentines
Hunnybugs! I’m drowning out at sea without you. S.O.S! Mayday! Give me a fuck and I’ll no doubt find land!

The Police
No. calls to the police : 28 times
Your Last Call to The Police
"Hello look this is a bit embarassing, I have a stalker who keeps trying to climb over our perimeter fencing and they seem to have become impaled on it again. Could you please send someone over to check it out? Thanks."
bradthebumper’s Police File
bradthebumper makes Mark Champman look well-adjusted.

Testimonies about bradthebumper
thewhiteprophet - A daring kleptomaniac
‘I’ve known them both for a long time and I can safely say I’ve never met such a pair of nutjobs in my life. All of these claims are bullshit.’
weatherby - Nosy old hen
‘I used to love bradthebumper. This news has broke my heart. I feel like beating the shit out of that bastard, seriously. What a dick.’
lout - Flaccid Pornstar
‘I use the word cunt sparingly - it’s more effective that way. I’ve spent all morning texting bradthebumper, with that word playing a key role in most of my messages.’
annafreud - Munt-munt-munter
‘Uncool and unhip bradthebumper is just plain shit!’

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